Sundays...

So our new church time for this year is 11:00 which is great for me because it was at 9 and that was so hard to get up and get myself and Lusi ready on time.  Well turns out 11 is better for getting ready but it is also right around Lusi's nap time and that isn't going to well.  She is so nosy and wants to see everything she does not like going to sleep at church.  Also Teki's new schedule with Delta has him working on Sunday's again, so I'm once again going to church alone.  It is hard, and today was one of those days that I wondered why I was even going at all.  Got up and started getting ready, got Lusi fed and dressed, even got my crock pot dinner ready all before church.  Right before we left Lusi started getting grumpy and I knew she needed a nap, she fell asleep on the way to church and so when I got there I just covered her up and took her car seat in.  Well after I walk into sacrament and sit down, I see her little feet kicking and I knew she was already awake.  So I pull her out and she is just so excited and wide awake.  So I took her car seat back to the car and got her stroller instead, she is getting so heavy and with her diaper bag and everything it's too much to carry.  She is such a busy baby, she is constantly moving and trying to see what is going on everywhere and touch everything she sees and play with all her toys 30 secs at a time.  It is hard to keep her entertained and keep her quiet and close to me for the whole sacrament.  She ended up bumping her head on the bench and screaming so I had to take her out.  She usually does something and needs to be taken out at some point.  During Sunday school our class is in the gym and I usually have to walk her around in the back of the class to keep her happy and try to put her to sleep (which hardly ever works)  luckily today I pushed her in her stroller around for about 25 min and she went to sleep.  She sleep till half way through Relief Society and then was back to being busy.  Since we are in a Tongan ward I have to use the headsets for translation in Sacrament and when Relief Society is combined (on Fast Sunday and the 5th Sunday).  It gets so hard to keep my head phones on when I'm trying to keep track of Lusi.  And today really had me questioning why I was even there.  It would be so much easier just to stay home, some Sundays I'm spending most of my time in the hall not even learning anything.  Teki isn't there and I sometimes I want to just stay home and not deal with all the hassle.  But I know it is all worth it, that it will all be worth it in the long run.  Hopefully one day Lusi will understand that I did it for her, to show her how important this gospel is and that no matter what that is where we should be on Sundays.  I don't know how my mom did it, with 5 of us all on her own.  She is such a strong women and a perfect example.  Today was just one of those days but it also helped me realize that no matter what I am where I need to be and where I should be.  I love this Church and am grateful for the blessings it brings to my life.